A couple minutes of Jay Leno's "Battle of the Jaywalk All-Stars" will boost almost anyone's confidence.
I was really only going to the fridge to get a drink of water, more concerned about what I might write here tonight than I was about who the guests were on Leno and Letterman. But as good timing would have it, the second round of the Jeopardy-esque game show was just beginning, and like a train wreck, it's impossible to look away.
Some of the questions tonight were: "There are 100 senators in the U.S. Senate because..." (answer: "more opinions?" all three contestants agreed on that one, by the way); and " 'Give me liberty or give me death' was a quote by this man, who had two first names...Patrick......" (first girl to jump in: "Dempsey!"); "the 49th and 50th states in the union were..." (answer: "Hawaii, annnnd...Canada." *pause* "no, wait...Canada's not a state!" all three of them also thought that Alaska was an island.)
But my favorite question of the night came in the lightning round at the end, when Jay asked: "Water can exist in any of these...*guy buzzes in before the question is even completed*...any of these three states," Jay finishes.
"Colorado?" answers the guy.
*girl buzzes in* "Pennsylvania!"
*next girl buzzes in* "Doesn't...water...exist in...all...the states?"
Jay repeats the question: "Water can exist in these...three...states."
*buzz*
Washington!
*buzz*
Florida!
(audible comment by a contestant: "I don't understand the question.")
*buzz*
California!
I thought Jay might bump Heather Locklear from her appearance and let the three contestants keep shouting out as many states as they knew until they got it right.
Hey, at least they got to be on TV and meet Jay Leno and have their fifteen minutes of fame, right?
But we all know that the three states in which water can exist are solid, liquid...
...and North Dakota.
"You can't stay mad at somebody
who makes you laugh."
—Jay Leno
I'm not a "late night" show guy but that would have been good.
ReplyDeleteAnd i concur, in my line of work you realize that there are just simply a lot of unintelligent people in this world...and it makes me feel much better about myself.
The whole state and stupidity thing reminds me of a spring break story.
Joel and I drove to Myrtle Beach for a week (there's a ton of Joel puking stories as well, but i'll attempt to stick to my original thought).
It was just after we'd graduated (who can afford spring break when you're actually in school?).
We're in a Hooters (keeping in mind this was well before BW's become the wing and destination of choice) in downtown Myrtle Beach.
We of course have a stunning blonde as our server girl. And as you're aware they sit down and talk to you (now unlike BW's where my girls sit and talk with me cuz they like me..., at Hooters they're required...).
We ask her where she's from cuz she's doesn't have the accent. She's from Pennsylvania and going to school at Coastal Carolina (which as we all know is just up the road in Conway, SC and is the home of the Chanticleers who's must famous alumni might be Chiefs QB Tyler Thigpen...).
So she asks where we're from. We say Wisconsin. She's like "Oh." I don't know if she looked puzzled or Joel saw something but then he challenged her to name two of the three states that border Wisconsin.
She first guessed Michigan. Now i wasn't thinking of the U.P. but when looking at her you could understand why we gave her credit.
So she's got one more guess to get MN, IL or IA. Her guess....Oregon..???...
Damn she was good looking though.