A couple minutes of Jay Leno's "Battle of the Jaywalk All-Stars" will boost almost anyone's confidence.
I was really only going to the fridge to get a drink of water, more concerned about what I might write here tonight than I was about who the guests were on Leno and Letterman. But as good timing would have it, the second round of the Jeopardy-esque game show was just beginning, and like a train wreck, it's impossible to look away.
Some of the questions tonight were: "There are 100 senators in the U.S. Senate because..." (answer: "more opinions?" all three contestants agreed on that one, by the way); and " 'Give me liberty or give me death' was a quote by this man, who had two first names...Patrick......" (first girl to jump in: "Dempsey!"); "the 49th and 50th states in the union were..." (answer: "Hawaii, annnnd...Canada." *pause* "no, wait...Canada's not a state!" all three of them also thought that Alaska was an island.)
But my favorite question of the night came in the lightning round at the end, when Jay asked: "Water can exist in any of these...*guy buzzes in before the question is even completed*...any of these three states," Jay finishes.
"Colorado?" answers the guy.
*girl buzzes in* "Pennsylvania!"
*next girl buzzes in* "Doesn't...water...exist in...all...the states?"
Jay repeats the question: "Water can exist in these...three...states."
(audible comment by a contestant: "I don't understand the question.")
I thought Jay might bump Heather Locklear from her appearance and let the three contestants keep shouting out as many states as they knew until they got it right.
Hey, at least they got to be on TV and meet Jay Leno and have their fifteen minutes of fame, right?
But we all know that the three states in which water can exist are solid, liquid...
...and North Dakota.
"You can't stay mad at somebody
who makes you laugh."