Saturday, September 04, 2010

Monet On A Plate

Food is art.
Or at can be.

Perhaps a glop of day-old macaroni & cheese at the college dining hall doesn't qualify as art, but one can hardly argue that it isn't worthy of such labels as "abstract" or "impressionistic."

Truly artsy food is a dab here, a morsel there, a drizzle over both. With enough room left on the plate for a couple of slices of take-out pizza.

I've eaten at all points on the spectrum: from pizza on paper plates to pasty thick macaroni & cheese to appetizers and entrées with acres of pristine whiteness surrounding the tiny bites of food. And I like it all.

Trouble is, sometimes the artsy foods are served with a heavy dose of pretension, and that—coupled with the exorbitant price per ounce of the food you're sampling—can make for a thoroughly unenjoyable dining experience.

We recently dined at one of these restaurants, and as our server was explaining to us the contents of the barren plate, she remarked about the imported Maraschino cherries in one corner.

Uh...I believe she misspoke, and should have more correctly said Maraschino there was only one, sliced in half, sitting all by its lonesome self.

Gee. That didn't really fill me up. Could I maybe have half a grape, too, please? And how much extra will that cost?

One should enjoy all dining experiences, but at restaurants like those, it's best to be prepared to hoist your nose up in the air as high as your server, lest you not fit in.

Also...have the number of the nearest pizza joint handy, because you'll probably go home hungry.

"Too many people just eat to consume calories.
Try dining for a change."
—John Walters

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