"I like the relationships. I mean each character has his own story. The puppy is a bit too much but you have to overlook things like that in these kinds of paintings. But...the way he's holding her. It's almost...filthy. I mean he's...he's about to kiss her, and she's...pulling away. The way his leg's sort of smashed up against her. Look how he's painted the blouse sort of...translucent, you can just make out her...breast underneath, and it's...you know, sort of touching him about...here. It's really...pretty torrid, don't you think?
Then of course you have the...onlookers, peeking at them from behind the doorway, like they're all shocked...
Yeah, I must admit when I see a painting like this, I get, uh...emotionallyyy...erect."The camera flashes to the painting on the wall, showing a four-by-eight-foot rectangular mass of red that could have been applied with a roller...a few subtle shadows barely visible, but nothing else of distinction to the painting.
When I visit an art gallery, which is...OK, never (rarely)...I always think of that scene, and wonder what I'm missing in the paintings that a seasoned art critic would see. For instance, what do you see here? I see something that's going to need a second bottle of Windex before it's clean.
"Abstract art: a product of the untalented
sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered."