Ton-Fifty-ONE By One By One

So NaBloPoMo is back.

No, it's not November yet. The organizers have instead decided to "go monthly," meaning that any month in which you need to give your blog a boost, you can sign up and on the first of that month, off you go...blogging merrily every day.

Apparently I need some sort of acronym pressure in order to pay attention to this blog, because once a week just isn't cutting it. So I signed up. To help bloggers on their journey, NaBloPoMo is going to have a theme each month, and the theme for March is: Lists.

I doubt I'll follow the theme every day, but it gave me an excuse to finally do one of those hip-and-trendy 100 Things About Me posts that many bloggers have. Seeing as how my blog title references one hundred fifty-one, however...I'm going to try to stretch it out that far.

So here...lucky readers...are one hundred fifty-one things about me. I hope.

1. I think this month will be harder to complete than November was, but I don't know why.
2. One hundred fifty-one things about me is going to be ridiculously overdone.
3. Six would do just as well.
4. You can stop reading when you get to six and I'll understand.
5. In the late '80s, I broke my fibula playing football with friends. I limped around for several weeks before having it checked out, and by the time it was X-rayed, it was already healing well enough on its own.
6. I used to have a pretty good arm throwing a football, baseball, etc. Now it's probably below average.
7. If you're still reading this list...thanks. It might not get more interesting, though. Sorry.
8. I would choose skydiving over bungee jumping, although I've never done either. But I'd kinda like to try both.
9. I would hate for either of those activities to include the sound, "splat!"
10. I think onomatopoeia is cool. But that's a lotta damn vowels.
11. Sunsets over sunrises.
12. Malts over shakes.
13. Vanilla over chocolate.
14. I've been reading since I was 4 years old. (or so I'm told.)
15. I don't remember much about my life so many years ago.
16. I like cookies just fine, but I could go the rest of my life without eating another Oreo and never miss it.
17. I can't remember the last time I had an Oreo. (Maybe it was when I was 4 years old.)
18. There are many big snowflakes in the air as I'm writing this.
19. Being the owner of exactly zero snowmobiles, I've had all the snow I can handle this winter to last me until I'm 40.
20. Oh, shit. I'm only about 16 months away from 40.
21. I've only been to Vegas twice, but I was hooked in about the first hour I was there.
22. Vegas isn't a place you should go if you have an addictive personality.
23. I think I do. And I hope to be there for my 40th birthday.
24. Coffee...sucks. But every holiday for the past few years, I've had a cup, just so my family can laugh at me drinking coffee.
25. Tea over coffee.
26. I've had the nickname "Vach" (rhymes with "blotch," not with "Spock") since eighth grade.
27. It was given to me by the captain of our freshman rec league basketball team.
28. Our team name was "The Masters of Slam." But only one player on our team actually could. Not very masterful.
29. The next year, our team name was changed to "The Masters of M.G.D." I would have preferred to stick with "Masters of Slam" and work on my jumping ability.
30. For a very long time, I was quite finicky about the beer I drank: Corona or Miller Lite, thank you very much.
31. In the past several years, I've branched out substantially, and enjoy sampling many different beers.
32. When engaged in latenight philosophical discussions on living up to one's potential, I've even been known to reach for a Blatz Light (provided it's within arm's reach, and there's probably no other beer left on the premises).
33. Dasani water is the best water on the planet, with City of Two Rivers water coming in a close second.
34. If all the water I drank was Dasani, I'd be broke. I regularly drink oceans of water.
35. I like water more than I like beer.
36. When in the company of my beer-drinking buddies, I will flatly deny ever admitting to Item No. 35.
37. I have an unhealthy obsession with office supplies: roller ball pens, notebooks, rulers, mechanical pencils, Sharpies.
38. If I golfed once a week during the season, I think I could consistently shoot in the low 40s.
39. As it is now, I golf three or four times a season if I'm lucky, and my scores range from low 40s to low 50s.
40. I stare at the moon and the stars...a LOT.
41. I don't drink much milk. But I eat a lot of yogurt.
42. I have no idea if those two things should be in the same item or not.
43. Maryann over Ginger. (not. even. a contest.)
44. Someday I'd like to be a better photographer than I am now. (that won't be difficult.)
45. And also own a dSLR with some kick-ass lenses.
46. I've never seen Barry Sanders in person.
47. Did I mention I'm a Lions fan?
48. And in a constant state of depression during football season?
49. I learned to drive in a brown 1970 Chev Impala, affectionately known as, "The Tank." I miss that car.
50. I've been in the presence of Natalie Goldberg (twice) and Dave Barry. It doesn't get much better than that.
51. While all families have some level of dysfunction among them, mine is quite...functional. And hanging out with them pretty much rocks.
52. Thanksgiving is far and away my favorite day of the year.
53. Every day during the year in which I get to attend a concert is tied for second.
54. Music over air.
55. I've had a smoker's cough, even when I'm not sick, for as long as I can remember.
56. I've smoked maybe 40-ish cigarettes in my life.
57. My very first CD was Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark's Greatest Hits.
58. I used to know what my 100th and 200th CDs were, too. I don't anymore.
59. I currently own more than 600 CDs.
60. In 2000, I had hernia surgery the day after Thanksgiving. That was quite a painful weekend of recovery.
61. I wish I knew how to play the piano.
62. I used to be pretty damn good on the saxophone.
63. One of my guilty pleasures: the Jackass and Steve-O DVDs. (those guys are mad funny.)
64. I've been scuba diving once, and it took me a few minutes to trust that I could actually breathe under the water. I'd love to go again.
65. I grew up across the street from a community swimming pool, and am quite comfortable in and around water.
66. You're not actually still reading these, are you?
67. Seriously...go put a jigsaw puzzle together or something.
68. I own nine parrots. None of them are real.
69. I've partied like a rock star at Tao in Las Vegas.
70. When I go back to Vegas, I want to go back to Tao...so I can say that not only have I been there, but that I am now indeed a "regular."
71. This just in: I am not...a rock star.
72. When I was younger, I used to want to be a garbage man, and would hang on to the handrail on the bottom step of our basement stairs, and lean back, making garbage truck noises, and throwing the "trash" (blankets, pillows, etc.) up onto the stairs.
73. When I see a garbage man today, I still think they have a cool job.
74. Staying up late over getting up early.
75. I keep some very strange hours...in part because of insomnia, and in part because I'm just a dork who doesn't know when to go to bed.
76. I've been at my current job for nearly 13 years, and while I love the job part of the job, I don't think I should be there anymore.
77. I'm not quite certain where to go from there.
78. Maybe I should be a dealer in Vegas. (nooo, not a drug dealer, stupid.)
79. I can throw a Frisbee pretty well.
80. I don't understand why some people can't.
81. I can't water ski or downhill ski for shit.
82. Those who can have every right to tell me to get the hell off of their skis and go play Frisbee.
83. I've seen Rounders about 7,245,396 times.
84. That might be a conservative estimate.
85. I watch poker...and golf...on TV.
86. Phil Mickelson over Tiger Woods.
87. People who make me laugh are without question my favorite people.
88. I hang around with some outrageously funny human beings.
89. Winchester over Frank Burns.
90. My favorite curse word is "fuck," and all its incarnations. A truly versatile word.
91. I'm quite careful about where I use it, however.
92. The coolest thing I got in the mail recently was a little Beanie Baby polar bear to officially mark my Polar Bear status from January 1. Completely unexpected. And completely cool.
93. I'm supposed to give platelets later today, but I'm still hanging on to the end of a week-and-a-half-long chest cold, so that appointment will probably be postponed.
94. I've worn glasses since third grade. I took them to school in their case rather than wearing them, and when the girl next to me found out I had them, she went and told the teacher, who told me in front of everyone to put them on. Not the kind of attention I was seeking.
95. I am a condiment king. I bet I could slather a hot dog bun with about ten different condiments, forget to add the hot dog, and not even notice.
96. I might have five or six different kinds of mustard in my fridge door at this very moment.
97. I can't remember in what grades...I think it was sixth and eighth...but I have two city-wide spelling champion titles.
98. I didn't do so well at the regional level, though. Either year.
99. When Andre Agassi's first Nike shoe came out, with the neon orange swoosh, I must have looked at a billion different stores before I finally found it. I kept that pair of shoes until the soles were almost falling off of them.
100. I've seen Agassi play an exhibition match with Tim Mayotte.
101. When I was in high school, I had a thunderous serve. If my groundstrokes would have matched my serve, I might have been dangerous. As it was, I was...pretty good.
102. I've made it past one hundred.
103. This is not easy.
104. I bet our next president's name will rhyme with "Yo Mama!"
105. I have done and will do my part to make sure that Item No. 104 comes true.
106. March Madness isn't too far away, and what I know about college sports makes me undeserving of my own bracket.
107. I'm going to have one, anyway. Probably two.
108. In my grade school art class, I took a couple gouges out of my hair with a pair of those blunt-ended scissors. Of course I did it only days before class photos. My mom was so proud of her artistic little boy!
109. If space tourism ever becomes even remotely affordable, that's a trip I'd love to take.
110. Diet Pepsi over Diet Coke. Diet Dew over both.
111. I'm a Gemini.
112. And an INFP.
113. My favorite "red" flavor for just about everything is raspberry. Except Kool-Aid...then it's cherry.
114. For a very long time, I thought "for all intents and purposes" was really "for all intensive purposes."
115. A buddy I went to school with thought it was, "supposively."
116. I haaaate making typos. But I know I make more than my share. As soon as someone brags about how perfect they are, that's when an ill-timed typo crops up.
117. I'm going to have plenty of typos in this entry, because I'm not going back to reread all of these. We'll call it...stream-of-consciousness Ton-Fifty-ONE.
118. Spring over summer. Summer over fall. EVERYTHING over winter.
119. I don't get NASCAR, and have never watched more than three minutes of a race, much less the entire several hundred miles.
120. My favorite color is purple.
121. Now I'm really reaching for shit.
122. While I'm still totally enamored by my blog title, and the meaning behind it...I haven't hit a Ton-Fifty-ONE in dart league for a couple years now.
123. I better get to it, or I'll have to change the title to, "An Occasional Hat Trick." And that doesn't have quite the same oomph.
124. If I don't ever write a book that people read, or even a short story or a widely read column...it'd be cool to have just one quote that people remember, and occasionally use.
125. I'm a quote-aholic.
126. Barry Manilow is cool. And I'm not just saying that to fill Item No. 126.
127. Do you know how much of an impression Colmes makes on me from Hannity & Colmes? I bet I've looked up his first name a dozen or more times, and I can never...never...remember it. It's Alan. Don't ask me that tomorrow, I won't remember.
128. The only neat thing about this winter is all the icicles hanging off of so many of the buildings. Some of them are huuuuge. I'd take some pictures and post them on my blog, but a lot of them have dropped off, and I hope they don't come back. But they will, won't they?
129. Spending a couple hours listening to Adam Duritz sing songs and tell stories is about as perfect as a night can get.
130. Ditto when you replace "Adam Duritz" with "Matt Nathanson" in Item No. 129.
131. I can eat fifty eggs.
132. No...I can't. I just felt like quoting that down here. Great movie.
133. I wish I was a Photoshop genius.
134. I saw the Kentucky Derby from just a few yards past the finish line the year Smarty Jones won it. He was my horse. I quadrupled my money. Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey were there that year, and so was Anna Nicole Smith. Supposedly Kid Rock was too, but I didn't see him.
135. We were in the infield the day before for the Kentucky Oaks. I highly recommend the infield as a first party of spring kinda thing.
136. The mint juleps were pretty awful, though.
137. My childhood days were spent playing a LOT of two-on-two driveway basketball, and snowbank Nerf football in the street.
138. I grew up on a one-block-long street, so the instances where we had to yell, "Car!" were few and far between.
139. To borrow a line from Dustin Hoffman, "I'm an excellent driver."
140. Driving is relaxing to me.
141. A year ago I saw Blue Man Group in Chicago, and in a couple weeks I'm going to see STOMP! I'm eager to see which one makes more of an impression on me.
142. I'm kind of addicted to the yellow "Energy" flavor of VitaminWater. But I have no idea if it really gives me energy or not. I don't care.
143. I've been planning a trip to New Mexico for more years than I care to remember.
144. Other trips (Vegas) always seem to get in the way.
145. Someday I'll drive there, spend several days enjoying the scenery, and then drive a different route home.
146. Another place I want to spend a long weekend is in the Florida Keys.
147. But my next trip will probably be to...Vegas.
148. What was that I said about addictive personalities?
149. I realized this a long time ago, but I think I should re-emphasize it here: One hundred fifty-one things is way too many.
150. This will be my longest post of the month, for sure.
151. Thanks for putting up with my foolishness, and goodnight.

Tomorrow's list will be Two Vegetables I Hate, and believe me...that one will be harder to complete than this one was. I honestly can't think of a vegetable I don't like.

"My to-do list is so long
that it doesn't have an end.
It has an event horizon."
—Craig Bruce