Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Does Anyone Have A Lint Brush I Can Borrow?

Today I learned what "chenille" is.

And I learned that it leaves a trail.

A couple weeks ago I was end-of-season clearance-rack shopping (not something I'll admit to in person...only on my blog) and found a sweater that was a prime candidate for purchase, because it a) fit; b) was practically a steal; and c) looked good, too. (I do have some taste, in case you were wondering.)

And this morning, with winter's last chilly gasp still in the air, I decided to wear it to work. So I snipped off the tags, noticing that one of them said, "Textured Chenille."

At the time I didn't know what chenille was. But by about mid-morning, I noticed that the front of my khaki pants looked a little...dirty, for lack of a better word. And I knew they weren't dirty when I put them on.

Turns out "chenille," in the fabric world, means "tiny, almost imperceptible fibers that get on your pants and make them look dirty, and are tremendously difficult to brush off."

I doubt that anyone at work noticed, and even if they did...I don't really care. But I came home from work and my white T-shirt was no longer white, but instead sort of a fuzzy gray. (ish.)

Oh, and I learned one other thing, today, too. If you wear a white T-shirt under a dark-colored sweater that has a loose weave or is a loose knit or whatever the hell it's called (this isn't a fashion blog, people...it's a blog where I bitch about stuff!), as you move and twist and turn in the sweater, little pinholes of white will peek through.

If I stood under a black light in that sweater and that T-shirt, I would probably be a spot-on match for a clear night sky. I'm actually going to make patterns with the holes in the shape of the Big Dipper and Orion.

Or perhaps I'll instead remember to never wear a white T-shirt under that sweater again. Yeah, that might be the better way to go.

I'm assuming that a spin through the washing machine will take care of most of the stray nineteen billion chenille fibers resting among that loose weave.

And if not...then I need to go and buy a lint brush.
Or two.

"If you are a dog and your owner
suggests that you wear a sweater,
suggest that he wear a tail."
—Fran Lebowitz


  1. Ggg - Okay, that cracks me up! I'm astonished that the word "chenile" came out of your mouth - or out of your blog - or whatever. Before washing that great sweater, you may want to check the tag to see IF it can be washed in the machine - or if you'll really need to get in touch with your feminine said and use some woolite while washing it by hand. Bargain shopping, exotic fabrics - you best be careful or people are going to start laughing at you :o)

  2. This has nothing to do with today's post bud but I thought I should let you know that we're a mere week away from a new Counting Crowes album. It's a double record no less!!! I've heard most of it already (nevermind how... heh heh) and it's really quite terrific.

    So while you're at the river, pounding your new sweater with a rock, at least you'll have something cool to listen to on your iPod.

  3. Rebecca...Woolite? Wouldn't I need Chenille-ite instead? (ouch.)

    Not a chance I'm going to wash it by hand. It says something about machine wash cold, gentle cyle...or something. So I'll have to press some of those buttons on my washing machine's panel. Usually I just jam it full, pack it down good and tight with a broom handle and turn that knobby thing.

    And don't worry...to make up for this post, which included words like "sweater," "fashion" and of course "chenille".......I'm going to make up for it by blogging for the rest of the month about belching, scratching, going to Hooters and spending Sunday afternoons loading my pick-'em-up truck with lumber.

    Jeff...Yesssss, I can't wait for next Tuesday. I've gotta make sure a store near me has it in stock, but I'm eagerly awaiting it's release. I've heard a few of the songs. Can't wait to hear 'em all.

    And then see them live. Again. And again.

  4. As soon as I thought I was leaving, i found this post. I'm rolling out of my chair. Umm did you wash the sweater... I found myself yelling NOOOOO don't wash it, you'd might as well throw it into the trash.