Friday, November 30, 2007

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow...

I have every intention tomorrow of waking up at a reasonable hour and driving to a mall where they sell items that can be purchased, wrapped and given as gifts. Tomorrow being December 1, I believe this action will qualify as "Christmas shopping."

The date that I begin my Christmas shopping varies from year to year. During a few inspired years in the past, I've started my shopping in November. I've never finished in November...but I've started.

Being a guy of the male persuasion, Christmas shopping is not high on my list of favorite activities. Don't get me wrong...I'm not 100 percent Scrooge-ish. (maybe 70.) And I'm not opposed to buying gifts for the people in my life who rock. But it's finding the right gift (at which I'm horrible), and tolerating the mall crowds.

One year, in early December, I drove to an area mall that has one of those service road thingies around the parking lot area, and found myself stuck in total gridlock. Cars crawled at a pace so slow that snails were zooming past us, shouting, "I'll race you to the sale racks!"

Unable for nearly an hour to execute a right turn, which would have at least gotten me into the parking area...I found an opening to take a left turn in the direction of the highway out of there, and slammed down the accelerator, speeding off and ending my shopping day before it ever started. ("slammed down the accelerator" can be translated to read "gently pressed my foot against the pedal to avoid rear-ending another jolly shopper"; and "speeding off" can more accurately be described as "reached three miles per hour.")

I like to think I've mellowed a bit since then, and handle the crowds and cars and lines a bit more calmly. But I'd still rather go shopping in May or August than in December.

With all of those plans officially laid out, I must add here that there's snow in the forecast for this weekend. And if I wake up tomorrow and see even three or five snowflakes drifting through the air, I will promptly cancel my shopping trip, close my blinds and hibernate, waiting for a more suitable, weather-safe day on which to venture out.

Hence...the title of this post. (the latest weather reports, however, seem to indicate that if I do my shopping in the a.m. hours, I should find myself ahead of the 6-ish inches of snow that are apparently on the way.)

Besides, it's early yet. If I do get out to do some shopping, I'll realize how much time I actually have until the 25th, and plop myself down in a chair at Barnes & Noble, and hibernate there for the afternoon instead, among a billion books.

— • — • —

I'll probably do a bit of a NaBloPoMo wrap-up sometime tomorrow. (yes, tomorrow! on December 1...a day when I'm not even officially required to post anything.) We'll see what other surprises I can drum up for tomorrow's post as well. (oooh. vague foreshadowing is fun!!)

"Whoever said money can't buy happiness
didn't know where to shop."
—Gittel Hudnick


  1. C'mon Vach. Does the Lakeshore Mall LLC, formerly Lakeshore Mall, formerly Edgelake Plaza, formerly Edgewater Plaza, formerly Edgewater Mall really get THAT busy?? You hitting up Prange's or Prange Way? Oh wait....those are no longer around. Maybe you could sit at the Wizard Arcade and play Donkey Kong all day. Give 'em a call to see when they open - (920) 683-2111.

  2. Ha! I was gonna' suggest the former Mid-Cities Mall and a few rounds of Tron and Berserk at the Wooden Nickel!

  3. Post pictures of five or six snowflakes to accompany your post next time. Spruce things up a bit, you know.

    Good luck on the shopping thing.

  4. A-Bomb...You actually have that number memorized? Still?? (I think the area code back then was still 414, though, right? Remember...we're old. (I miss Donkey Kong.)

    Wyld...Sorry about the lack of spruce. Sometimes there's just enough time for words. Spruce takes time. :O)