The Yankees pitcher has got so much weighing on his mind right now:
"Should I retire, so I can spend more time with my family, or should I come back to the most powerful franchise in baseball, play catch every five days with my buddy 60 feet away and watch grown men with wooden sticks whhhiff as the ball screams past them? Oh, and there's also that little matter of the sixteen million dollars that I'll put in my pocket for less than a calendar year's work!"
Officially, Pettitte has already declined the option. But Yankees management, known for being so patient, generous and accommodating, *ahem* has left the offer sitting on the table, in effect telling him, "Take all the time you need, Andy. And if you decide you'd like to play a little ball next year, we'll have this wheelbarrow of money waiting right here for you."
I know a story like this is nothing new. Professional athletes have so much money they pay people they don't even know simply because they have hands with which it can be carried away. ("Here, take these wads and wads of hundred dollar bills just so I don't have to find more places to put the stuff.")
But how does anyone walk away from sixteeeeen milllllion dollars? That's enough to buy three houses that are guaranteed to be featured on MTV's "Cribs"! Talk about celebrity status.
Hell, hire me! I'll work for One-point-Six Million. Or even point-One-Six Million! Granted, I might make the pinstripes look a little, um...wavy. And while I'm assuming Pettitte throws in the mid-90s, I might be able to hit only the mid......twenties? OK, maybe I'll give myself the forties. I've got (had) a pretty good arm.
Wait, wait...hold everything. Pettitte's a lefty. Yep, he's got me there. Baseball teams look for those, don't they? Now I understand why he's worth the sixteen and I'm not even worth considering for the backup assistant bat boy position. Gotcha.
Take the money, Andy.
Give it a go for one more year, and see how you guys fare without Torre and A-Rod and whomever else bolts before the mass exodus has ended in the Bronx.
You'll have plenty of time to spend with your family soon enough.
And three new houses in which to spend it.
"Good pitching will beat
good hitting any time,
and vice versa."