...And A Side Order Of Indigestion

I hate drive-thrus.
(no, that's not me. —>)

Not because if there are more than three cars in line, you'll usually crawl at a snail's pace up to the squawk box to place your order; not because about 74 percent of the time, they get your order wrong!!; not even because of the cutesy way they spell "thru."

I hate drive-thrus because my car tends to drive through them more often than I'd like it to.

I think maybe I need to get a more health-conscious, cooperative car. I'll be driving home from somewhere, and I'll pat him on the dashboard and say, "OK, Jarvis (my car's name is Jarvis, by the way)...let's go home and have a nice salad with alfalfa sprouts, or maybe three ounces of baked fish and a piece of fresh fruit."

And Jarvis revs his engine, takes over the controls and blurts out through the stereo speakers, "Me want french fries! Me want cheeeeseburger!!" (Jarvis is also, apparently, from the Neanderthal Era.) (what, did you expect a British accent or something? He's a freakin' Pontiac!)

A couple years ago I saw the documentary, "Super Size Me," which I highly recommend if you want to be informed and grossed out about the fast food industry. It's about a New Yorker named Morgan Spurlock who decided to eat nothing but McDonald's food for an entire month and document his health throughout.

Let's just say it didn't go too well. He began the first day as a pretty fit physical specimen, and by the end of the month, he'd packed on 25 pounds and seen his cholesterol rise 65 points. All in the name of filmmaking, I guess, huh?

After I saw the movie, I was challenged by the friend who recommended it to me to go without fast food for 30 days. (I wonder which is more difficult...no fast food for 30 days or blogging every day for 30 days. hmmm.)

For the record, it was an easy month. I didn't cheat, I didn't cave, I didn't go crazy for want of a Big Mac. But the idea was to eventually quit, and not go back to it. And I didn't exactly rush to a Burger King on Day 31, but...I did find myself driving through a drive-thru again within a couple weeks.

And the first time I had McDonald's food, it was kinda disgusting.

I think I need one of those challenges again. It's not like I order my meals over an intercom seven days a week. But I am...familiar, shall we say...with the phrases, "Please drive forward," or "Please pull around."

If we can agree that chicken wings are, in fact, not fast food, then I think I might give it a go, and see if I can avoid McDonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell, etc., etc., until at least January 1.

So, NO! I would not like fries with that.

(Jarvis is gonna hate me.)

"At the end of this month, I'll have eaten
as much McDonald's as most nutritionists say
you're supposed to eat...in eight years."
—Morgan Spurlock