Thursday, November 13, 2008

Stand Up...Sit Down.

I often wonder if I could have been a stand-up comedian.
[answer: no.]

Aside from the fact that I abhor speaking in front of people...and that I'm probably not very funny (trivial points, yes?)...I might have been a great success. [please refer to above answer for the truth.]

For some reason, the following story popped into my head this morning. And I thought, "Blog post!" So here you go:

About 17-ish years ago, the night before my sister's wedding, we were at the rehearsal dinner and my soon-to-be brother-in-law announced that before we started eating, he'd like us to all go around the room and stand up and introduce ourselves, say a few words and explain our ties to the group.

I was none too thrilled about this idea, and thought about sneaking out to the bar to play a few games of pinball, and coming back to my seat in time for dessert.

But I stayed. And people went around the room: "Hi, my name is so-and-so, and I'm married to so-and-so, and I've known the bride and/or groom for such-and-such number of years." As one person sat down, another stood up, and this went from table to table around the room. It was a fun idea, and went over pretty well.

I didn't exactly know what I was going to say, and as I watched the order, I thought to myself, "Three more people and it's my turn. Two more people and it's my turn. Oh shit, it's almost my turn!!"

And then it was my turn.

I stood up, and said, "Hi, my name is Gregg. I'm Karen's brother...
...and I'm hungry, so that's all I'm gonna say." And I sat back down.

Big laughs.
I don't know if it was really that funny, or...if it was my delivery. Or what. But it worked.

Pure. Comedy.

(clearly I missed my calling.)

"I started to do a study on how not to do
stand-up comedy. Yeah, it's lonely work.
You die, you die alone. It's you, the light
and the audience. If you win, you win big.
If you lose, you lose big time."
—Jim Varney

1 comment:

  1. I am with you on the whole speaking in front of large groups thing.

    I was Joel's best man and had to do that deal...I was pretty looped, talked about the mushy stuff, then highlighted it with a spring break tale from Panama City that ended with Joel vomiting (of course) in the parking lot of a fast food joint the morning after...he vomited outside the rental the night before, in the hotel bathroom, shower and bed (thankfully it was a double room)...I thought it was funny.

    The name of said fast food joint outside Panama City?... Wendy's...Omen? I think so.