Monday, August 21, 2006

Everybody Wang Chung Tonight

I think I've discovered where some of the has-been musical groups disappear to.

While some one- or two-hit wonders legitimately fade away after their 15 minutes of fame are over, recent research suggests that other singers or bands might in fact run into legal troubles that are the cause of their musical careers being cut short.

Case in point: Wang Chung

Before the biggest hit of their career, "Everybody Have Fun Tonight," in 1986, the group had a minor hit with "Dance Hall Days," in 1984. It was while listening to this song on the radio recently that I came to the conclusion that the group probably had to disband due to incarceration.

Look at how the duo described their recollection of a good night at the dance hall:

Take your baby by the hand
And make her do a high handstand
And take your baby by the heel
And do the next thing that you feel

And after an upbeat chorus, they come back with more of the same:

Take your baby by the hair
And pull her close and there, there, there
And take your baby by the ears
And play upon her darkest fears

Not content with hair-pulling and psychological torture, they continue:

Take your baby by the wrist
And in her mouth an amethyst
And in her eyes two sapphires blue
And you need her and she needs you

Correct me if I'm wrong here, but that's not really dancing, is it? Isn't that...


If they could have kept it simple with a little innocent bump and grind, or maybe some freak dancing, who knows how many albums Wang Chung could have turned out? But nooo...they thought since they were rock stars that they could cross the line and resort to ear-grabbing.

No wonder some '80s bands disappeared. Do you think maybe Dexy's Midnight Runners are in the cell next to Wang Chung?

"Either heaven or hell will have
continuous background music.
Which one you think it will be
tells a lot about you."
—Bill Vaughan

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