In (and Out of) the Spotlight

Paparazzi don’t need media credentials. They get their shots without them.

They hide in bushes, crouch behind cars, wait in hallway closets. They aren’t invited to the red carpet, but they show up anyway. Behind the scenes, perhaps, but close enough to the action that could bring them a big payday.

Their lenses reach...everywhere. Up skirts, down shirts, onto private yachts in Cannes. Although celebrities publicly act scandalized when they see these glimpses into their private lives splayed all over the Internet, they know paparazzi can drive movie or record sales, and put them in the spotlight they long for.

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My entry in the 100 Words Challenge, with the prompt, "credentials."

Backyard Super Bowl

Heaving the tattered Nerf football straight up into the air as high as he could, the boy waited for the kickoff to come down between the telephone wires into his arms, and surveyed the defensive obstacles in front of him.

He faked out the stationary oak lineman, spun away from the oncoming rush of the oscillating sprinkler safety, juked the shrubbery cornerback, and high-stepped over the garden hose goal line into the end zone, fourteen yards from where he began.

“I’m invincible!!” he shouted as he raised his arms to signal touchdown and began his victory dance.

“Next stop...the NFL!”

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My entry in the 100 Words Challenge, with the prompt, "invincible."

Holiday Haiku: Landscape

over the river

in my travels means down and

round lake michigan

"Life is like a landscape. You live in the midst of it

but can describe it only from the vantage point of distance."

—Charles Lindbergh

Holiday Haiku: Options

cracked window, back door

a second-floor balcony

who needs a chimney?

"Santa Claus has the right idea...

visit people only once a year."

—Victor Borge

Holiday Haiku: Freeze

cloud-filled gray sky

eager to spill its load of

rain or snow or both

"Praise out of season, or tactlessly bestowed,

can freeze the heart as much as blame."

—Pearl S. Buck

Holiday Haiku: Meeting Place

families gather

congregate in the kitchen

snacks, cheeses, stir frys

"Where do most people hang out socially at home?

The kitchen. No more maids, no more servants.

Today, most of us live another lifestyle entirely,

in which we're all in it together, and that's the fun.

—David Allen

Holiday Haiku: Tools

tape, scissors, ribbon

tissue paper and boxes;

or just a gift bag

"The gifts that one receives for giving are so immeasurable

that it is almost an injustice to accept them."

—Rod McKuen

Holiday Haiku: Drip

snow melts on rooftops

jagged stalactites of ice

drip drip four-foot drip

"He's Mr. White Christmas, he's Mr. Snow.

He's Mr Icicle, he's Mr. 10-below."

—Snow Miser's men

Holiday Haiku: Wrapped

am I not a pro

if I wrap gifts with more than

three pieces of tape

"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like

wrapping a present and not giving it."

—William A. Ward

Holiday Haiku: Convenience

tin of chew, Zagnut

7-Eleven Slurpee

last-minute shopping

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands

in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands

at times of challenge and controversy."

—Martin Luther King

Holiday Haiku: Time Off

working overtime

elves long for their vacation

to 'it's a small world'

"A world in which elves exist and magic works

offers greater opportunities to digress and explore."

—Terry Brooks

Holiday Haiku: Shopping Spree

gift certificates

endless possibilities

(up to twenty bucks)

"In the early days of the Indian Territory,

there were no such things as birth certificates.

You being there was certificate enough."

—Will Rogers

Holiday Haiku: Santa Comes Early

upset in Motown

with bench-warming quarterbacks

Lions shut down the Pack

"Gentlemen, it is better

to have died as a small boy

than to fumble this football."

—John Heisman

Holiday Haiku: Digging Out

shovels skidsteers plows

pushing scooping and hauling

winter deposit

"Few things are as democratic as a snowstorm."

—Bern Williams

Holiday Haiku: Snowfall

night becomes brighter

a blanket of pristine white

reflects the moonlight

"Advice is like snow;

the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon,

and the deeper it sinks into the mind."

—Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Holiday Haiku: Backup

red passenger van

rows of benches, seats fourteen

Santa's other sleigh?

"Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip."

—Gary Allan

Holiday Haiku: Baked

baked

a pinch or a cup

too much or not quite enough

amateur baker

"Most hard-boiled people are half-baked."

—Wilson Mizner

Holiday Haiku: Cold

cold

winter approaches

deeply inhale crisp sharp air

through frozen nose hairs

"Nietzsche claimed that his genius was in his nostrils

and I think that is a very excellent place for it to be."

—Federico Fellini

Holiday Haiku: Clicks

clicks

a mouse or touchpad

scurrying over links to

shop in israel

"If you can dream it, you can do it.

Always remember, this whole thing

was started by a mouse."

—Walt Disney

Holiday Haiku: Timed

timed

lights on a timer

festive mood allowed only

from 4 to midnight

"I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook,

but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer."

—Bob Monkhouse